Comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself and your life to others and their lives is a great way to steal your happiness!
One very common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, clothes, money, relationships, social popularity and everything! Then your self-esteem is so low and you create a lot of negative feelings about yourself and even negative feelings about others.
How to overcome this habit is to replace that destructive habit with two better habits:
Good or bad?
It’s said that there was once a gentleman in the middle east. His only possession that really amounted to anything for him, his wife and son, who lived in a little hovel, was a gorgeous Arabian mare. The mare was absolute perfection.
The neighbors always came by and said how lucky he was to have this one beautiful mare. He said, “I don't know whether it’s good or bad, I just know I have this lovely mare.”
Well, one night she broke out of the corral and when he got up the next morning, he discovered that she was gone. All the neighbors came by and said how terrible, and bad it was that the mare was gone. He said, “I don’t know whether it’s good or bad, all I know is that the mare is gone.”
One morning about a week and a half later, she came back and had seven beautiful stallions with her. They were all smitten with her, so they went in the corral too. Now all the neighbors came by and said what wonderful luck he had. They said, "You have these seven beautiful stallions along with your mare back. This is so good!” He said, "I don't know whether it's good or bad, all I know is I got mare back and seven stallions with her."
The son decided to train these stallions so they could be ridden and they could sell them. One of the stallions threw him and broke his leg. So he was laid up with a broken leg in a splint. The neighbors came by and said, "That's bad, your son has a broken leg." He said, “I don't know whether it's good or bad, I just know my son has a broken leg.”
About this same time the king sent his men through the village and took all able-bodied young men to send them on one of his war ventures. The son couldn't go because he had a broken leg. The neighbor's sons all had to go.
The neighbors came over and said how lucky the man was because his son didn't have to go because he had a broken leg. He said, "I don't know whether it's good or bad, I just know my son has a broken leg and didn't have to go to war.”
This story can go on as long as you want to go. The point is that you don't know what's "good" and you don't know what's "bad"; and the quicker you understand that, the better off you'll be. So just kept reporting "what is."
You can always report "what is"; and you don't know whether it's good or bad. You know it "is". But you don't know what's good and bad because you don't know the outcome down the road--two days, two months, two or twenty years from now!
May you always find the joy in the journey! And happiness always.
Habits of happiness
Today we struggle with the idea of happiness. We think we have to work towards it, like a goal that someday we will reach it and can finally be able to say we are happy. I had a favorite phrase that said: "I'll be happy when...." (fill in the blank). I will be happy when my health improves, I'll be happy when I have a child, I'll be happy when I get a job, I'll be happy when I have a new car, etc. (And since then I have learned a new way of speaking and thinking!)
But what if you could be happy right now, in the situation you are in today? I know it's possible.
I can share tips on ways to elevate your present situation. You'll be amazed at what a little shift of thinking can do for you!
Tip #1 Feel Your Feelings (Tips are in no particular order, in fact I like to save the best for last!)
One of the greatest barriers to experiencing more love and happiness is the habit of avoiding emotional pain and negative feelings.
The purpose of feeling your feelings is not to get rid of them, but to let them fulfill their purpose—which is bringing our awareness to the things in our lives that need our attention.
An Exercise To Feel Your Feelings
To be unconditionally loving you must also expand your capacity to love yourself the way you are—not the way you think you should be—by practicing feeling your feelings, and having acceptance for yourself no matter what.
Unconditional self-love means treating yourself the way you would treat a beloved friend.
Heidi is a happy wife of 30 years, mother of 3, grandmother of 5, aunt to 20, neighbor to several, and friend to all.